


My Love, don't fade away.

by MinionwithaShotgun



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2017-12-04 10:53:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinionwithaShotgun/pseuds/MinionwithaShotgun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Purgatory fic.</p><p> Dean's struggle with his feelings for Castiel after leaving Purgatory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Love, don't fade away.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this back in Nov 29, 2012
> 
> My picture for this: http://uchihasasuna.deviantart.com/art/Destiel-Promo-Fic-Pic-My-Love-don-t-fade-away-340374366
> 
> Song inspiration for this fic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOl2VMVim-M
> 
> Design for Cas' gift to Dean was brought to life by this charm: http://www.petpeoplesplace.com/petstore/pet-image-large/sterling-silver-angel-wing-heart-locket-pendant-charm_310303048612.jpg

Dean gasped sitting up quickly. The room was quiet. The morning glow creeping its way through the curtains. Dean looked to the side breathing quickly. Sam was not there. “Must be gone for a run.” he thought. His body shook as he moved. His hands shaking with his effort of getting the quilt off his body. He sat with his legs over the bed, his feet on the cold wooden floor. 

It had been the only decent night’s sleep he had since he got out of that place. Out of purgatory. His breathing was still coming out heavy, panting erratically into his hands, as if he had just ran a marathon. “Please no. Not this again. Please…” he chocked out. He stood up on shaky legs and walked across the room to the bathroom, entering and shutting it behind him. He reached the sink. Turning the taps on he quickly splashed water on his face until the dizziness past. He turned them off and blindly reached for the towel on the rack beside him. He buried his face into the cotton fabric and inhaled deeply. He felt a lot calmer now.

Dean placed his hands onto the sink leaning his weight on it and raised his head slowly to the mirror in front of him. His reflection was pale but was a big improvement from what he used to be. The black lines around his eyes were fading. But not as quick as he had hoped but he could tell that there was a big difference. He moved his hand to his shirt and pulled it up and off over his head, throwing it to the ground by his feet. He trailed his hand to the object around his neck. He closed his eyes and closed his hand around it.

 

*In Purgatory (flash back) *

The fire crackled around the firewood, its light sending a warm glow around the small clearing where they decided to rest for the night. Benny volunteered to be the first to keep an eye over Dean while he rested. Castiel would take charge in a few hours since he did not need to sleep but rested close to Dean. Dean blew into his hands rubbing them together and holding them out to the flames. If it weren’t for this fire they would probably freeze to death. 

Castiel sat beside him, their arms and shoulders pressed to each other. The heat radiating off Cas was insane. “Being an Angel does have its benefits after all” Dean thought, smirking to himself.

“So…big day tomorrow, huh?” Dean said glancing at Castiel as he went stiff beside him.

He looked down at the ground with his eyes closed. He looked up at Dean a moment later, his bright blue eyes sparkling in the glow of the fire. “..Yes. The sooner the better. The leviathans are becoming restless, although, I do not sense them near our range. Not yet.” 

Dean hummed. His teeth chattered together. He was too cold. Castiel took off this worn down trench coat and placed it over Deans shaking shoulders and back. Dean began to protest, trying to remove it but Cas put his arm around his back, holding onto his left shoulder tight, keeping the coat on him. “Dean, please. You need this more than I do. You will catch your death. I am far too warm. If you’d like you can sit between me? It will make you warmer and a better chance for you to fall asleep.”

Deans mouth was opened at that. The position would be very, intimate, but he was freezing. He had to. Cas stood up and rounded Dean sitting behind him. Dean edged his way back until he hit Cas’ chest. The heat was radiating off Cas and he basked in the warmth of him. He let out a low soft sigh and snuggled in. Cas’ arms wrapped themselves around Dean. His right hand firm on Deans left shoulder the other around his waist, holding him against his chest, in a cradling position. 

Dean could feel the beat of Cas’ heart in his ear. He closed his eyes and placed his left hand on Cas’ chest. “Thank you, Cas.” He whispered. Cas’ left hand began caressing the side of his body gently. He leaned his cheek against the top of Dean’s head, his hair was soft. “You’re welcome, Dean..” 

*****

An hour or two had passed. Dean woke up slowly. His eyes remained shut. He didn’t even notice that he had fallen asleep. The warmth was all around him. It took him a few seconds to remember why and snuggled in once again. Cas noticed the movement and ran his right hand through Deans hair. “Dean. You may leave your eyes closed for this but there is something I want to give to you.”

Dean chuckled. “What is that, Cas?” He kept his eyes closed. He heard a rustling sound and a heavy breath. “Cas?” Dean said curiously. Cas’ voice sounded shaky, almost nervous. “Dean, if my calculations are correct, it will be your birthday in a couple of weeks. Correct?”

Dean remained silent. “How the fuck did he remember that? Why think about that in a place like this?” Dean remained silent but nodded. Cas cleared his throat and felt Cas’ left hand support Deans head, his right hand leaving his body. He heard the movement again but kept his eyes shut. This felt really weird.

Suddenly something landed on his chest. A light, but noticeable weight. Cas went back to cradling Dean properly again. He remained silent for a few moments. When he spoke now he sounded upset.

“I, wasn’t sure if I would, or can, make it out with both of you tomorrow. I made this for you just in case. It’s nothing special. But I managed to make it together with my graze when the Leviathans were away from me.” 

Dean opened his eyes now and looked at his chest. His eyes opened wide and he sat up slowly, cupping the necklace in his hands. “Cas…I….”

It was a silver looking charm. The image of wings, Angel wings, curled up into what looked like, a heart. It wasn’t the best looking but Cas, he made it for him. While in danger, he managed to make him a gift. 

He loved it.

“Cas… Thank you. I’ll never take this off. But, why wings? And why this shape?”

Cas looked sad. He let go of Dean and Dean turned to face him. Cas looked at Dean then traced a finger over the detail of the wings. “You see how the wings look curled in? As if embracing, protecting something?” 

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. He didn’t like this feeling all of a sudden. He felt scared. He felt like he was going to lose Castiel. This feeling came out of nowhere and almost suffocated him. 

“This is my symbolising of you, Dean. I always wanted to keep you safe. Always wanted to be there for you. I left you here at the beginning so I could keep the leviathans away from you. You had to go, get out of here and live on. And, this symbol you now carry, this is for you to look at and touch and remember me in this night. And remember everything. To remember how important you are to me and how much I…loved you.”

Dean let the charm fall as it rested and hung from his neck. He was breathing heavy trying to compose himself. He couldn’t cry. Not here. “Cas..don’t talk like this. Not now. Please..”

He sat up on his knees and was in against Cas’ chest in seconds hugging him like he had never hugged him before. He buried his face in the crook of Cas’ neck, his arms wrapped around his shoulders, his left hand cupping the back of his neck.

“Dean.. I’m sorry.” Cas whispered, his arms closing around Deans waist. The fuzz of Cas’ beard scraped against Deans cheek. He wanted to stay in this moment forever but he knew Benny would be back soon.

“Cas, we are getting out of here. We are going home. I won’t leave you behind. I can’t.” His voice broke near the end and the weight around his waist got stronger. Cas pushed him gently by his hips, out of his space so he could look at his face. Deans eyes were filling with tears. Cas reached out his right hand and rested it over Deans cheek as soon as the tears fell from his green eyes. He brushed them away and moved in close. Close enough that they were breathing off the others lips. 

“I love you, Dean Winchester.” He said more confident this time. “ And I will always be there to protect you, and I will always be there for you.”  
Dean let out half a laugh and a little sob. 

“I love you too, Cas. I’m just sorry it took me this long to finally say it..” 

“Me too, Dean.”

Dean moved his left hand on to rest on Cas’ face, moving over his neck and up into his dark locks smoothing his hair out to how he liked it. Cas tilted his head up close brushing his lips over Deans bottom lip. They moved then, slowly, pressing their lips together finally. The press of the slow kisses felt perfect. Felt as though they fit together like a puzzle. A puzzle that was now pieced together completely after all the years of building the pieces up. 

Dean deepened the kiss moving his tongue along Cas’ bottom lip and Cas immediately opened for him. They kissed like that for as long as they could. Dean had somehow ended up straddling Cas’ legs, his hands buried roughly in his hair. Cas moaned into his mouth, running his hands up along Deans back and gripping him tight. Their breathing coming out in deep heavy pants. 

“Dean..” Cas breathed out wearily into Deans mouth before Dean lost control further. 

“Ah, Castiel…” Dean moaned out, tilting his head back and let Cas suck marks into the neglected skin of his neck. 

“AHEM!” 

They both froze and turned their heads slowly. Benny. He smirked smugly at them and moved in. “Well well, if I didn't know better I’d say it’s about damn time!” he laughed out.

“Folks back in the real world will be happy this has happened, finally. I am sure.” He slapped them on the shoulder as soon as Dean was free of Cas’ grip. Cas frowned as Benny laughed louder. Dean nudged Benny when he took his seat and began to laugh himself. Soon they all laughter together, embarrassing situation aside, and Benny and Castiel seemed to get along better now. 

Dean looked between them both and smiled. 

“Tomorrow we are out of here. Tomorrow it’ll be over.”

*Present Day*

Dean let the charm fall back into place. “But you never came home, did you Cas?” A knock on the bathroom door snapped him out of it and he quickly put his shirt back on and opened it up. Sam stood there, not in his running clothes. He smiled and slapped his brother on the shoulder. “Happy Birthday, Dean!” he said with a cheerful smile. “I got us breakfast. Let’s eat!”

Dean leaned back on his chair rubbing his stomach as Sam cleaned up. “Ugh dude! You tryin’ to kill me?” Sam laughed as he made his way to the kitchen. 

“Oh come on. You could eat more. I got pie for later. Apple.”  
Dean smirked and stood up stretching himself.  
“Yes, but later sounds good. I’m beat.”

Sam frowned slightly. “You getting much sleep? I heard you talking in your sleep again last night.”

Dean bite his tongue and took the beer Sam was now offering, taking a swig from it. “We talked about my birthday, in purgatory.” He whispered.

Sam went pale and cleared his throat. “You and Cas did?”

Dean reached into his shirt pulling out the necklace, letting the charm fall into place. “He made this for me. He said we would celebrate together. He said he would make it out Sammy! But where is he? Huh!? NOT HERE THAT’S WHERE!” Dean threw the bottle smashing it off the wall nearest to him. Sam jumped and grabbed Dean tight by the shoulders. 

“Dean! Calm down! Look, I know you are upset.” 

“Upset!? “ Dean screamed. Sam shook him. 

“Let me finish, Dean!” he said calm but loudly. Dean huffed and focused on breathing normally again. Sam cleared his throat and looked Dean in the eyes.

“You said Cas just let go, right? But Dean, he cares about you. Whatever went down he must have done, whatever he had done, for you. He has always looked out for you Dean, and you know why.” 

Dean nodded. He felt despair wash over him. He felt empty without him. “You weren’t there, Sam. You don’t understand.”  
He pulled out of Sam’s grip and walked to the door. 

“Where are you going..?” Sam asks. Dean puts his coat on. It’s getting dark now but he didn’t care. 

“There is a pier down the street.. I’m just going for a walk to calm down. I won’t be long.” And with that steps into the cold night air shutting the motel door behind him.  
**  
The rivers water looked black in the moonlight. Dean took a seat on the pier, his legs dangling over the edge. It was too quiet and his Hunter senses were on high alert but he could still feel himself calming with the sound of the water lapping around him.  
Suddenly a strong wind blew. His hunter senses shot up abruptly. He rose up slowly on to his feet, his hand hovering over the knife placed beside his belt. He turned sharp and quick knife pulled out at the ready and stopped, frozen in place.

He could not mistake those clothes. Black slacks, white shirt, blue tie always on backwards, the long tan trench coat flowing around him. Castiel. 

“C-Cas?” he whispers. He feels the tears building up again and grows angry.  
“Whoever you are, you are NOT Cas! Shapeshifter, huh? I’ll fucking KILL YOU!” 

He lunged for the creature. But the creature was faster and stronger than he was. He gripped Dean’s wrist that was holding the knife and looked into his eyes. Dean huffed in pain and froze again when he looked into those eyes. 

“Dean, it is me.” He said shakily. His voice rough. Rougher than Dean remembered it ever being. He let out a loud cry dropping the knife. The clatter of it loud in the stillness of the night. 

Dean fell to his knees. His hands cupped in Cas’ shirt as he cried against him. “You stayed behind.. You never left.. How did you get out..? Why did you not leave with us? Why Cas!?”

Cas placed his hands to his shoulders easing him away gently and kneeling before Dean too. “I planned on staying all along. I deserved to be there after all the devastation I caused. That is why I made you that pendant, why I asked you to remember me. And I have, no idea, how I got out. I still don’t know if this is even real..”

“Real?” Dean laughed, punching Cas hard and fast across his face. Of course, hurting himself in the process. “I had to live without you for weeks, WEEKS and you just show up out of nowhere. I kept praying you know, every night since I got out of that nightmare; I prayed for you to come back. I begged!"

“Dean.” Castiel looked at him again. His face looked pained; tears making his eyes shine brighter, the brightness of his blue eyes glowing. 

“I’m so sorry, Dean.” 

Dean choked out a sob and pulled Cas in by the tie kissing him deeply. Cas held him gently but with a force behind it kissing him back passionately. Cas kissed his lips, his cheeks, nose, eyes, along the curve of his face to his neck. 

“I’ve missed you.” 

Dean pinches himself. It was real. No tricks. Cas was back. But with no explanation yet as of how. He had his Angel back. He was finally home.  
“Welcome back, Nerd.” He said half crying half chuckling. 

Cas breathed out heavy onto his neck, moving away and back to his eye level. “Thank you, Dean. And thank you for looking after this.” He said placing his hand over the charm.  
Dean held Cas’ face between his hands. 

“I felt that with this,a part of me always believed that you’d come back. Now I can protect you too.” 

Cas smiled. “Also, I didn’t miss your birthday.”

“What?”

Dean checked his watch. “Well I’ll be damned.”  
The time read 11:55. Cas kissed Dean gently on the lips. 

“Dean, Happy Birthday.” he chokes out, burying his face into Dean’s neck.  
Dean held onto him tight. He was filled with happiness but also an instinct to protect Cas engulfed even more. He wasn’t letting go of Cas again. Never again.

He hit Cas playfully on the shoulder and helped him stand on his feet.  
"Come on. Sam will be glad to have you back. He needs to talk nerd to someone around here."

Cas let out a laugh and walked with Dean hand in hand up the moonlit street to the motel.

“I love you, Cas.”

“I Love you too, Dean.”

And he never did remove that pendant from his neck. 

End.


End file.
